After a hiatus

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I took quite a long break from blogging, as my professional life took quite a toll on me.   However, after some reflection and much disappointment I can say that it was a lesson well learned.  What I learned is that people in positions of power are so afraid of losing their jobs and careers that they resort to fraud and possibly abuse of  power.  Unfortunately for them it will result in future suffering, as all we do eventually comes back to us.  It comes back and not necessarily in the same form that it began; it can manifest as a future psychological ailment or a general angst that can never be remedied.  These people put material gain or worldly recognition before simple human values such as compassion, empathy and honesty.  As a result, they will lead lives that are lacking those same qualities, and the sad thing is that they won’t understand why people are so mean to them.

I understand why they do the things they do, and sadly even if it were brought to their attention they would not change.  Fear is a powerful emotion that is seldom confronted.  There is nothing to fear, nothing at all.  “People are broken”, a friend once told me when I asked about the true nature of humanity and whether it was intrinsically good or bad.  So the way I look at it is that these ‘broken” people are afraid of disappointing or being reproached by other “broken” people.  I have stood up, and not without repercussions, to tell the truth in situations that were obviously wrong and I did so without fear.  What am I to fear?  Am I to fear disapproval from people that have no morality? Am I to fear injustice at the hands of the unjust?  Possibly, but if I am to be judged I would rather it be from a person of stature than an immoral, broken person.

That is my rant for the last few months.

Paranoia to the tenth power

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While looking at my Facebook page I shake my head everyday.  I shake my head in disappointment and worry for those people obsessed with the second amendment.  They post more pictures of guns than they do of their God(s) and/or children, and then claim that the United States has become too secular.  (As if Jesus would pack a Glock)  My first response to this kind of thinking is; who do you want to shoot?  The second thought is that maybe this macho, gun owning bravado stems from trying to be someone they didn’t have the courage to be earlier in life, which was otherwise uneventful and mundane.

I find it illogical to have the opinion that violence stems from an absence of prayer or God, and at the same time advocate more firearms and violence.  If the roots of a tree are rotten, so will the fruit be.  The problems are not the weapons, but the minds that crave and create the reality that requires them.  Prayer cannot solve the world’s problems, only action can.  By teaching our youth the sanctity of life and compassion for all living things; they learn to be tolerant, understanding and empathetic.  What can we say of a society that entertains itself by playing video games that simulate killing people?  In my house my children are not allowed to shoot anything in a video game.  Why you ask?  Well, because the mind is a mirror and you will eventually become what you are influenced by.

Secondly, by thinking and believing that people are out to get you; you will create that reality.  It must be sad to live in a world where you feel scared, and fear so much, that a gun is necessary.  Unless there has been police or military training of some sort, I seriously doubt that an everyday Joe would react in a level-headed way in a moment of terror or high stress.  I see this in my profession; people paralyzed by high stress and chaos.  Eventually, with exposure and training it goes away, however it takes time and practice.  Only those that have been humbled by the experience of a life or death situation, can fully appreciate or know how they would react in a specific situation.  Stress and nerves betray even the most seasoned professionals.

Lastly, sometimes people sell themselves short, by never having the gumption or courage to pursue their dreams.  Maybe out of necessity or just plain old bad luck they had to settle for whatever paid the bills, and there is nothing wrong with that.  As a result by carrying a weapon they feel bigger, invincible and powerful.  This is an illusion, as with or without the weapon you are still the same person filled with fear and angst.

My father, a retired agent that spent his entire adult life chasing and arresting hardened criminals, would tell you that a career criminal will most likely assault you, disarm you and then kill you with your own gun.  Why? Because the average person has never been exposed to pure violence or terror.  The brain, in all its evolutionary glory, has to be conditioned to work effectively.  In other words, when confronted with a sensory overload the brain, to protect itself, will shut down and render you useless.  This is the purpose of training; exposing the brain to high levels of stress allowing the person to continue higher brain functions and survive.

In conclusion, society has to figure out a better way.  This country is a melting pot of religions and cultures; any “one” way will not work.  There must be a common ground and we can work together to find it.  Virtue, morality, love and compassion are universal values shared by all that have been touched by the suffering of life.

Theodore Adorno said: “The condition of truth is to allow suffering to speak.”  Suffering has spoken, and we have all seen the truth as a result.  The truth of the frailty of life, the truth of the anguish in a parent’s heart over the tragic loss of a child, and the heartbreak of a nation that realizes the problem is bigger than we thought it  to be.  It is up to us to make a change, and it must first begin in our minds and hearts.

Yeah, I think like a human

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Socrates said that the life that is unexamined is not worth living. (Plato, 1986) Since humans are endowed with the ability to reason, it is only natural that we ask questions of our own intelligence.    How do we know what we know, and what constitutes knowing?  What distinguishes human intelligence from that of the lizards, or antelopes?  By knowing the self, will it lead us to a better understanding of our reality?  Will knowing the extent and limitations of our own intelligence lead us to a more meaningful life?  Seemingly, while exploring the depths of human intelligence, there are more questions than answers.  When considering human intelligence, one must keep in mind the nature of the study of knowledge, neuropsychology and introspection, while trying to distinguish between human and animal intelligences.  While doing so; science, psychology and philosophy merge, and the clear lines that normally divide the disciplines will blur. 

Firstly, it is important to consider the acquisition of knowledge and how it can be validated.  Rene Descartes said in his first Meditation: “Whatever I have up till now accepted as most true I have acquired either from the senses or through the senses” (7:18). Descartes first thought that knowledge had to come through the senses.  However, as we know today through scientific study, that the senses can be flawed and what we think is true might not be so.  So the question then becomes; how can we know truth from knowledge, or is knowledge a prerequisite of truth?  If we are taught from a young age that clouds are yellow, and honeybees are purple; does this detract from the truth of the clouds or the bees?  Whether or not they are yellow or purple does not take away from its purpose in the natural world. A bird does not need to label the tree as such in order to make its nest there.  Overall, the human gift of “reason” does not add or detract from the ability to function in the physical world.  All distinctions or discrepancies we encounter are strictly by- products of our thought processes and not a natural law. 

Human intelligence differs from other animals in that we have an independent consciousness, which seemingly guides us in our day to day activities.  With human consciousness comes the notion of free will, which is a heavily debated topic within intellectual and philosophical circles.  The theory of free will suggests that human beings have an advantage over other animals on the planet, being that consciousness allows us to freely choose a course of action.  While other animal’s just react instinctively and without the freedom to choose a course of action.  Research has proven that the human brain absorbs and records all sensory information about our environment at all times.The brain decides, without our knowledge, what to relay to the conscious aspects (Eagleman, 2011).  In essence, we are at the mercy of our brain and what it decides is important enough to bring up for conscious consideration.  That being said, there is little room for free will.  The most notable difference would be the fact that humans feel they have control over their emotions and lives, whereas animals do not have the capability to do so.

Another school of thought, states that the only aspect of intelligence that can be validated and accepted without debate; is that only the self exists, and by turning out attention inward can we discover true intelligence.   In other words, we can only know whatever we think, see or experience for ourselves as true.  Philosopher John Searle states, “How can conscious experiences like your pain exist in a world that is entirely composed of physical particles and how can some physical particles, presumably in your brain cause the mental experiences?”(Searle, J 2004) The physical laws of science apply to all matter, of which the brain is made up of.   If we take this theory and apply it to the other members of the animal kingdom, we will find that humans are exclusive again in the area of meta-cognition.  The horse does not consider its own existence or question its reality.  The horse accepts the reality it has been presented with, and the only critical thinking that it exhibits is for survival, which can be attributed to evolution. 

Lastly, by studying the nature and limitations of human intelligence we can improve our lives and add more meaning to it.   If all of our brain processes are hardwired to react in certain ways to specific situations; it will be easier for us to forgive one another and live together in relative harmony.  As in the case of mental illness, the patient did not intend to lose touch with reality; it just happened.  The same goes in our day to day lives with our interactions with others.  Conflict begins with a view that we are separate from one another, the animals and the planet.  When we look at the animal kingdom we can observe that birds flock together, schools of fish swim together and a pride of lion’s hunts and lives together with the collective goal of self-preservation. What they have is an innate intelligence that was born with them, and not conscious decisions. Unlike the other animals we share the planet with, humans have the power to calm and tame the mind from its relentless need for entertainment and mental chatter.  Once we quiet the mind, we tame the ego and all appears calm and transitory in nature. The fact that we can think in this way, and have the ability to train the mind, sets us apart from our animal neighbors.   By learning about the mind and how it works, the information has the potential to enrich our lives, by giving us purpose.

The Truman Show

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I have always liked the Truman Show, I don’t know why I like it so much, but I do.  Truman is brought up on an elaborate television set and is the star of a reality show.  What appealed to me and made me think, was that he never questioned his reality.  Which made me think, that could easily happen to us.  One day, someone explained Plato’s allegory of the cave to me, and it reminded me of Truman.  If we have never seen anything different; why would we question our reality?

The producer in the film responded to a question about Truman not discovering the true nature of his world, and he responded:

“We accept the reality of the world with which we’re presented.”

This is similar to the story of the Buddha.  Siddharta Guatama was born prince of a kingdom in India.  His father the king was told, by an ascetic priest, that his son would grow to be a great spiritual leader.  The king, wanting to have an heir to his throne wouldn’t hear of that.  The king instructed everyone to create a perfect world for his son.  A world without old age, poverty sickness or death, in an effort to keep his son from seeing suffering.

One day Siddharta wondered what was beyond the palace walls, and asked his father, the king if he could see the kingdom.  The king reluctantly agreed, however he ordered the streets cleared of anything unpleasant.  All sick, old and poor people were removed from the streets.  To make a long story short; he saw a dead person, an old person and a sick person.  The suffering he saw bothered him so much, that he left his family in the dark of night to look for the cause of suffering.  After years of meditation and almost starvation, he reached enlightenment and saw everything as it was.

It seems that suffering is what drives us to seek.  If we are content we have no reason to look for anything.  Truman suffered when he saw his father and started to look for truth.  After battling his fear of the sea, and facing a fear of the unknown he opened the door to a true reality.

Under the illusion of free will

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Free will or the absence of it, is a topic that is heavily debated.  I used to be a big proponent of free will; we all have a choice after all right?  That’s  what I thought until I read a quote from Sam Harris:

“How can we be “free” as conscious agents if everything that we consciously intend is caused by events in our brain that we do not intend and of which we are entirely unaware? We can’t.”

That simple statement is so profound and spoke to me.  I teach anatomy and physiology and I am very aware that the brain is a miraculous organ.  Much of it is still undiscovered, as we cannot study a live brain and it’s complex chemical and electrical reactions. We are beginning to understand the importance of neurotransmitters and their effects on mood, well being and excitability.  Raise serotonin levels and we feel good, too little dopamine and we get Parkinson’s disease.  Neurotransmitters are chemicals in the brain that speed up specific signals between brain cells.  An example being adrenaline, which is secreted by the adrenal  glands on top of our kidneys.  When in the brain, it speeds up neural activity, and that’s a good thing, because without it we wouldn’t be able to respond quickly and efficiently in dangerous situations.

As I sit here and type this blog trying to stay on topic, I can’t help but think about what I’m going to cook for dinner or if I need new glasses.  I didn’t intend for those thoughts to come; they just did.  From where and why I do not know and only my busy brain knows why.  I am currently reading a book called “Incognito”, the secret life of the brain.  Written by a neuroscientist, it goes into the origin and nature of consciousness.  This book has just confirmed that I am at the mercy of my brain, and that my everyday waking consciousness is dependent upon what my brain wants me to be aware of. 

The idea of the absence of free will is terrifying for many people.  Acceptance of it includes acknowledging that we have no control of our bodies or lives.  Control is an illusion, and people that cannot accept change are victims of it.  Change is inevitable and we cannot control anything; including our minds.  Only very skilled yogis and meditators can achieve some level of control.  As it has been proven that meditation or contemplative prayer slows down neural activity in some areas and increases activity in others. 

For myself the realization of no free will has been liberating.  When people around me are not behaving rationally or when they make poor choices; I realize that they have no control over it.  They have conditioned their brains to enjoy or react in certain situations, and as a result demonstrate it through their behavior. I also do not worry as much knowing that my mind in all it’s glory will come up with a solution if I give it time.

That’s all I have to say for today…….or so I think! 

Teaching conscientiousness

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I teach surgical technology at a career college and a major tenet is that we must have something called surgical conscience in the operating room.  What that means is that surgical technologists are the ones that establish and maintain the sterile field. Many times they are alone and a slight slip in technique might not be noticeable to someone else but will open the patient to possible infection.  They must be able to be honest and have enough integrity to do the right thing even if no one is watching. 

Anyone that has ever been my student can tell you that I am big on character and integrity and leave no room for dishonesty.  It is my duty as an instructor to either try to instill this quality or make sure they never reach the real operating room.  This is a matter of public safety and of conscience.  If they are capable of cheating on an exam they will no doubt cheat in the real world and put a patients life in danger. 

That being said, after six years of teaching hundreds of students, I have come to the conclusion that integrity, compassion and empathy cannot be taught.  I have witnessed students that have been caught cheating sit emotionless while being reprimanded and sometimes dismissed.  This disturbs me; not so much that they were cheating, but that they show no emotion.  A little shame, anger for being caught, contempt, or even self loathing would show some level of humanity.  Don’t get me wrong, I am a big fan of stoicism, but I seriously doubt these students are following any philosophical ideals.  

While teaching I try to impress the importance of the chain of causality in health care.  What we do or do not do affects others and we must strive to do the right thing.  I try to guilt them into doing the right thing by telling sad stories and showing them documentaries on medical errors.  I don’t advocate guilt as it is a destructive emotion, but I take a Machiavellian approach to this “the ends justify the means”.   

Just know that how I have these students with little regard for virtue or morality, they are out there in society.  They are the ones we hear about that hit people with their cars and keep going and that harm patients if they happen to make it out there. The health care field is run by people and there will be errors because we are human and we are not perfect. For the most part caregivers are empathetic and compassionate and do not wish harm on their patients; but there are some that did not choose this field out of vocation.

We must do a better job as a society to teach people how to feel.  How to put themselves in the shoes of another and see things from their perspective.  This callousness that I see on occasion has to go, it is detrimental to society and the individual.  Part of this problem comes from a self centered view of the world.  It starts with a sense of entitlement and ends with a person that cannot accept their own misgivings and own up to their mistakes. I can only hope that my students hear my voice in the back of their minds when they are about to cut a corner, and do the right thing.  We cannot complain as a society about these issues if we don’t take an active approach to change it, and change begins within. 

So I am a Buddhist after all

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Image     I studied Buddhism heavily from about 18 to about 27 years old.  After marriage and two children I still practiced sporadically but no time for study.  I don’t get much enjoyment from talking about shoes and hair colors and I could care less about jewelery and purses.  Because of this I don’t have many friends and the ones I do have would be bored if I spoke about what interests me.  I like deep conversations about life, and  I live by the words of Socrates “the unexamined life is not worth living”.  I need to know, I must know.

I met a philosopher and a writer, and what a treat it was.  These individuals were able to see life through critical eyes and because of that I feel they enjoy rich lives full of meaning.  Over time my conversations became deeper and I realized how Buddhist I am.  I think like a Buddhist and react like one too.  It has become part of my personality and that was not something I had intended.  I always considered myself a mediocre Buddhist student, yes I went and participated but I never accepted all the lessons at face value.  In meditation my mind wandered and while reciting tantric prayers I couldn’t contain my laughter.  I had loads of fun but never thought I had learned so much.

As I started to learn philosophy Buddhism helped me understand the concepts that were being relayed by the greats.  I have seen many parallels with Socrates, Plato and Epictetus.  It is comforting to know that all these great minds had the same ideas.  I think they tried to figure life out, and that is one of the greatest pursuits.  They pursued knowledge and truth and their lessons live on today.

I believe the truth is so simple that we cannot accept it.  We need validation for our existence and have a really hard time accepting the possibility that there might not be anything to validate.  This I believe is one of the biggest lessons in Buddhism that is found in The Heart Sutra.

Contemplation is good, it is a method of taming the ego.  However, contemplation of the past, the future or even the present takes us away from the essence of consciousness.  I’ve caught myself virtually “overheating” trying to understand what Descartes was trying to say.  In the end of it all “it is what is is”.  There is no bad, it just is.  This is very profound yet really simple and hard to accept. 

As much as I know that searching for meaning will only take me around an infinite circle, I still enjoy the trip!